Being A 21st Century Woman

Having spent my entire adult life as an active female, I’m filled with gratitude I’ve been able to do so.  As I approach my 39th year, I feel the same as I did at 21, only now I’m wiser (and a few grey hairs more) I can begin to ‘let go‘ of all the nonsense that used to consume me.

I have a job I absolutely love, but I am guilty of over-working, being absent mentally from family life and not being as organised as I would like to be.  I suffer enormously with overwhelm, so when overload get’s the better of me I am found delicately dancing like Julie Andrews form The Sound Of Music, even though I should be doing something more productive or be somewhere important.

My younger judgmental self would be like ‘this is how I roll‘ where as the older wiser me is saying ‘stop burying your head in the sand… again and take control of your life‘.  That’s the problem right there.  I always thought I was in control.  I thought flying through a day quicker than a Peregrine Falcon was ‘normal‘ because everyone did it.  This is adulthood… isn’t it?

No, turns out this is the nonsense that went on in my head that I thought was important and being mindful of it was the only way I managed to change the treadmill of life.  I started with 5 minutes meditation each morning using the timer on my phone and just becoming aware of my breath entering and leaving my body.  Since that I have made a commitment to 30 minutes a day for at least 6 days a week.  You may well be thinking ‘I haven’t got time for that‘ but with daily practise and investing in ‘time for me‘ gave me responsibly for myself.

Our minds are very good at telling us things like ‘I can’t‘ ‘I should‘ I must‘ ‘I haven’t‘.  We are programmed to believe that if we like ourselves people may ‘think we’re it‘ or if I put myself first I’m ‘selfish‘.  Truth is, these are just thoughts.  Thoughts based on nonsense.

Imagine for a second, a life with no nonsense.  Getting out of bed, going to work, exercising, eating well, spending quality time with your family and sleeping like a baby.  It’s all just fabulous and joyous… until the nonsense comes back.  Sadly that’s life and how you deal with it, makes the difference.

I made the decision to be ‘conscious‘ in my everyday living by focusing on 7 key principles of living:

1. Non-judging – Noticing my world and removing all judgements and becoming a witness to my nonsense.
2. Patience – Letting things unfold naturally, just like a butterfly breaking open a chrysalis.
3. Beginners Mind – Seeing things as brand new
4. Trust – In myself and my feelings
5. Non-striving – I’m only aiming to be me, nothing else
6. Acceptance – Seeing things for what they are and in the present moment
7. Letting Go – Literally that.  Not holding on to nonsense.

This went from noticing my breathing as I walk through the supermarket, to hearing the sounds of the birds, tasting the food I eat and the smell of fresh air.  I don’t want to miss any of the natural beauty around me or important life events because my mind is dictating what I ‘think‘ is important.  Being in the present moment rather than in my head is the best therapy I have ever practised.

I know too well that finding time (that I haven’t got) to meditate each day adds extra stress, so I had to sort out the important stuff from the nonsense.  It takes daily practise to learn and understand this, but by doing so I gained clarity and balance again.  Having a clear mind effects the decisions I make and the actions I take each day.  So if you’re reading this and want to be a more confident person, exercise regularly, prepare and plan nutritious meals, it all starts with your mindset and being present in your own life.  Once you start to show up, so will the results.

I’m not saying meditation and mindfulness is easy or the answer to all your problems.  It doesn’t happen like that, it’s not magic!  It’s an investment into yourself that paves the way to a better health and a fuller life.  If you approach it with an open mind you will really discover who you are.  This is why non-judgement and acceptance is so important because forcing anything to happen, is like forcing yourself to go to sleep.  You have to create the right surroundings for it to happen naturally.  Likewise when practicing mindfulness you have to create the right environment to be successful at it.

Meditation and mindfulness is the most powerful thing I have ever done for my mind, sanity and happiness.  I feel I’m only just scratching the surface with it and the next steps of the journey really excite me.

If you want to start your journey but not sure where or how, take a look at our Mind & Body One Day Retreat below.